It's Been Real

Like any new employee, Pastor AB was thrilled to start a new job. Seeing as how her previous work experience was comparable to reality television, she was ready to start anew. Not wanting to burst her bubble, B and E went along with her joyous air. When AB commented on how nice and friendly people seemed, they simply smiled and nodded.

The first time AB and B met, B had a large banana on her desk. Little did B know, this ripe, decadent banana would become the topic of a lengthy conversation. Although B could hardly understand the low talker, she realized AB was allergic. From then on, B would associate AB with a giant, whispering banana (with a toothless grin).

AB deemed herself wise and gave the girls much advice. After all, she was the pastor of an online church, hosted an internet talk show, and was Facebook friends with J-Lo, Tyler Perry and Tom Cruise (before he tried to convert her to Scientology). She coached them on the importance of saying hello to ones boss and being aware of ones surroundings. Apparently, the building had an unknown roach and hornet infestation. Wild turkeys grazed the parking lot, and mice flew from ceiling vents into unsuspecting purses. The place was a zoo. 

One day, AB was determined to acquire a yellow racing flag. She scoped out offices and questioned people like a wide eyed tarsier. Finally, AB found someone who "didn't want the dumb thing anyway." She returned to her cube, waving the flag with pride and a crazy gleam in her eye. She hung the flag high and stared at it longingly while the day passed her by.

Unfortunately for B, AB didn't hesitate to ask questions, even while B was on the phone. B spent precious moments of her time (that she can never get back) explaining that Rhode Island is in fact a state and is not apart of Massachusetts. New York City is in New York State, and all of which are in the northeast.

Fortunately for B, Wednesday is her last day. AB will be left to man the new sales team, and its future is in her hands... Best of luck to you, AB. It's been real!

And Then There Were None

Once upon a time, 4 women were miraculously brought together (by an unknown cause) to become professional appointment setters (disguised under the alias: Inside Sales). Because they bonded (as teams often do), dressed appropriately, had all their teeth and college degrees, they became known as "the sorority." Like most sororities, this sisterhood had a housemother. Like most housemothers, T thought of the girls as her baby hens. It was her mission to teach them everything she knew. CJ, WQ, B and E were trained in keyboard toggling, Googling, utilizing company discounts, spreadsheet making and the art of professional phone conversation.

The first 6 weeks were spent in an intense training program. B was shipped out via mini van (complete with chain smokers) to Jackson, TN. E cleaned a warehouse bathroom.

As time passed, things got stranger by the minute. Evil T (T's alter ego) emerged and rared her ugly head. She hid the team from the outside world, keeping them from anyone who might see their true potential and pure awesomeness. She subjected them to excessive clapping, squeals of exaggerated joy, and daily reminders of her ability to name the 5 companies under Liberty Ram and head up trade show conga lines.

Eventually, Evil T's days of leaving 8:01 post its on their desks came to an end. She was stripped of her title, and there was a new sheriff in town. Despite this shift in power, the program continued to snowball. One by one, the girls found new opportunities and left this sorority house.

In B's final days, JT's "What Goes Around Comes Around" became her theme song. She was begged to stay and witnessed the circus that was her new coworker (stories on that to come). On her last day, she will proudly chunk the deuces and look toward the sky. Victory is sweet my friends!